On Becoming a Person
Houghton Mifflin Co., New York, New York
It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go what problems are
crucial what experience have been deeply buried.
.. to learn that I am, in the eyes of some others, a fraud .. superficial ..
damaging .. only one person can know that what I am doing is honest ..
experience is, for me, the highest authority
Neither the Bible nor the prophets -- neither Freud nor research -- neither the revelations of God nor man -- can take the precedence over my own direct experience
It has been my experience that persons have a basically positive direction... even for those whose trouble is most disturbing...
(Warmth / Intelligence)
... the acceptant-democratic [parental attitude] seemed most growth
facilitating ... showed accelerated intellectual development (an increasing IQ).
(Regard / Confirming Other / Process of Becoming)
... accepting the whole potentiality of the other (Buber) ... a process of becoming ...
(Process of Becoming / Directions of Client)
... not ... satisfying or helpful to intervene ... with diagnostic explanations ... nor with ... guidance
(Direction Away From)
... [client moves] away from what is not ... even though there may be no recognition of what he is moving toward... instead of being a facade ... being himself
...moving away from "oughts" ... moving away from expectations [of parents or society] ... [away ] from trying to please others ...
... self direction ... being process ... becoming all of the
complexity of one's changing self
... openness to experience ... to be the self that one truly is ... living in an
open close relationship to his own experience ... discern the exact flavor of the feelings occurring
(Acceptance of Others)
Openness to inner and outer experience ... is an openness to ... other individuals... values his own experiences [as well as] the experience of others
(Fear / Anger)
...he can be his fear [, anger or other feelings ] ... but it does not dissolve him ...
we would by our openness ... work out the solutions of world problems on the basis of the real issues rather than in terms of facades... Freedom from threat ... freedom of choice ... exemplify ... a commonality of direction and goal
(Accountability in Therapy / Q-sort cards)
In order to obtain [an] objective indication [we used] the Q-technique ... [where the] client perceives herself as having become very similar to the person she wanted to be ... (rIB*SF2 = .70)
(Education: Teaching / Learning / Experience)
- do away with teaching ... people would get together to if they wished to learn ...
- do away with examinations ... they measure only the inconsequential type of learning
- do away with grades for the same reason
- do away with degrees [which] mark the conclusion of something [where] a learner is interested only in the continuing process of learning
- do away with the exposition of conclusions [since] no one learns significantly from conclusions
- I think I better stop there ... I do not want to become too fantastic
Significant learning is facilitated in psychotherapy ... learning which is more that the accumulation of facts ... learning which makes a difference in the individual's behavior ... in the future ... his attitudes ... his personality
don't be the ammunition wagon, be the rifle ... knowledge exists primarily for use
(Conditions and Process of Learning in Therapy)
When these five conditions are met, a process of learning inevitably occurs ... the client's rigid perception of himself and others loosen and become open to reality...
He discovers feelings of which he has been unaware ... and experiences them in the therapeutic relationship
He learns to be more of his experience to be the feelings of which he has been frightened as well as those which are more acceptable
1) When the client perceives himself as faced by a serious and meaningful problem
2) When the therapist is a congruent person in the relationship, able to be the person he is
3) When the therapist feels unconditional positive regard for the client
4) When the therapist feels an empathic understanding of the client's inner world and communicates this
5) When the client experiences to some degree experiences the Therapist's congruence, acceptance and empathy
(Process of Change)
... it is not necessary for the therapist to motivate the client ... the motivation for learning and change springs from the self-actualizing tendency of life itself ... tendency for the organism to flow into all the differentiated channels of potential development ... insofar as these are enhancing to the organism …
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (empathy)